A Wedding Sermon
Romana Abdullah (Daughter of the Late Dr Farooq Abdullah) with Taarkan Akdam on 14th July 2006
by Nasir Ahmad
The Light (UK), September 2006 Issue (pp. 7–8)
Note by the Editor: The wedding of Romana Abdullah, daughter of the late Dr Farooq Abdullah, with Taarkan Akdam took place on 14th July [2006] near Stevenage, Hertfordshire. The nikah khutba [wedding sermon] was delivered by Mr Nasir Ahmad. After reciting the customary verses of the Quran for such occasions, he gave the following address.
The four verses of the Holy Quran that I have just recited were taken from various chapters. The Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) invariably recited these verses on the auspicious occasion of marriage. In these verses, emphasis has been laid on fulfilling one’s duty to Allah as well as to one’s fellow beings and they also outline the main objectives of married life. Again, attention has been drawn towards safeguarding the rights of two weak sections of the society, viz., women and orphans. And lastly, the need to deal with one’s kith and kin with love and affection has been reiterated. These verses also point out that both men and women are equal in rights and rewards, and in order to provide a congenial atmosphere and a happy domestic life it is essential that husband and wife should respect each other and fulfil their mutual obligations sincerely. Again, while fulfilling one’s obligations one should be straightforward and truthful so that domestic life is not marred by mistrust and misunderstanding.
Marriage in Islam is a solemn social contract which consists of three basic requirements:
- Free and mutual consent.
- Announcement about it in public.
- A gift mutually agreed upon from the bridegroom to the bride. In Islamic terminology it is called mahr or a nuptial gift. It can be in ready cash or a valuable thing equivalent to it or a promise to pay it on demand of the bride. It is a symbolic gesture by the bridegroom of taking care of the bride and making her partner in all his life affairs and ownership.
There are no elaborate ceremonies attached to it. Of course, this contract should be witnessed both by the witnesses of the bride and the bridegroom.
The marriage ceremony is indeed an important and a most solemn occasion in our social life, when two persons enter into an agreement and decide to start a new life together. This beautiful union ushers in a new era of happiness, bliss and mutual relationship, and is also the starting point of taking on new responsibilities and building new relationships based on bonds of love and companionship.
The Holy Quran has repeatedly stressed the need of fulfilling one’s promises and commitments and says that Allah loves such a person. The Divine words in the Holy Quran are:
مَنۡ اَوۡفٰی بِعَہۡدِہٖ وَ اتَّقٰی فَاِنَّ اللّٰہَ یُحِبُّ الۡمُتَّقِیۡنَ ﴿۷۶﴾
“Whoever fulfils his promise and keeps his duty — then Allah surely loves the dutiful.” (The Holy Quran, 3:76)
In Islam, marriage is not only a solemn covenant between two persons witnessed by people, and which they are bound to fulfil, but every Muslim is also answerable to Allah, the Being Who not only knows the innermost intentions of man, but Who also has the power to take him to account for all omissions and wrong commissions. Therefore, a Muslim should be more faithful and careful in fulfilling his promises and commitments.
The third verse recited in the beginning provides a significant guideline with regard to fulfilling one’s promises. It says:
یٰۤاَیُّہَا الَّذِیۡنَ اٰمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللّٰہَ وَ قُوۡلُوۡا قَوۡلًا سَدِیۡدًا ﴿ۙ۷۰﴾
“O you who believe! Keep your duty to Allah and speak straight words.” (The Holy Quran, 33:70)
That is, when saying something or making a commitment, one should make sure that one’s intention and action co-relate. In other words, one’s intention and action should not be different from the contents of the agreement or be contrary to it. That is why Allah enjoins here that a true and straightforward statement will not only remove complications, but it will bring credibility in our affairs, and further, Allah will shower His grace and blessings on us. In the last verse Allah has given the glad tidings in this regard:
وَ مَنۡ یُّطِعِ اللّٰہَ وَ رَسُوۡلَہٗ فَقَدۡ فَازَ فَوۡزًا عَظِیۡمًا ﴿۷۱﴾
“And whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger, he indeed achieves a mighty success.” (The Holy Quran, 33:71)
The Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), by his meticulous example, emphasised the importance of showing kindness and affection to one’s wife, children and near relations as it generates an atmosphere of peace and cordiality at home and in the society at large. He is reported to have said:
“O believers, the most perfect among you in faith is one who is best in morals, and the best among you are those who treat their wives and children in the kindest manner.”
How important is the role of husband and wife in creating such an atmosphere at home and elsewhere has been beautifully alluded to in the following words of the Holy Quran:
وَ مِنۡ اٰیٰتِہٖۤ اَنۡ خَلَقَ لَکُمۡ مِّنۡ اَنۡفُسِکُمۡ اَزۡوَاجًا لِّتَسۡکُنُوۡۤا اِلَیۡہَا وَ جَعَلَ بَیۡنَکُمۡ مَّوَدَّۃً وَّ رَحۡمَۃً ؕ اِنَّ فِیۡ ذٰلِکَ لَاٰیٰتٍ لِّقَوۡمٍ یَّتَفَکَّرُوۡنَ ﴿۲۱﴾
“And of His signs is this, that He created mates for you from yourselves that you might find quiet of mind in them, and He put between you love and compassion. Surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect.” (The Holy Quran, 30:21)
In this verse, two points deserve our special attention. Firstly, that although from a tiny particle to the huge planets in the universe, such as the sun and the moon, and also the air, water, etc., all have been created for the sustenance of human beings and other creatures and are evident signs of Allah’s power of creation, yet the creation of husband and wife has been specially mentioned as His sign. It has further been emphasised that whoever will reflect over this phenomenon will discover the deeper wisdom and the more significant role a husband and wife are destined to play in the evolving of a congenial and happy life.
Secondly, Allah considers love and compassion between husband and wife and the spirit of sacrifice for each other and for other relations as His special sign. There is no doubt that union between husband and wife is the closest and most intimate and exotic relationship in the physical sense and that is why Allah has regarded it as His special grace. But the words,
لِّتَسۡکُنُوۡۤا اِلَیۡہَا
“you might find quiet of mind in them,”
cannot mean getting just physical satisfaction, because that is something that is very obvious and both derive it in any case. Hence there was no need of specially pointing it out.
The peace and tranquillity towards which Allah wishes to draw our attention here refers to mental and social peace and harmony and it is in this regard that the woman, as compared to the man, plays an important role. A loving and caring wife is like an anchor in the life of a husband, as she keeps the domestic life at home on an even keel and protects it from the rude shocks of misfortune and the vicissitudes of life, and she, like an anchor lying at the bottom of the sea, keeps on providing silent service to the welfare and happiness of the family life.
This is why Allah has taught us a prayer for thanking Him for this bounty and for its continuation in the following words of the Holy Quran:
رَبَّنَا ہَبۡ لَنَا مِنۡ اَزۡوَاجِنَا وَ ذُرِّیّٰتِنَا قُرَّۃَ اَعۡیُنٍ وَّ اجۡعَلۡنَا لِلۡمُتَّقِیۡنَ اِمَامًا ﴿۷۴﴾
“Our Lord, grant us in our wives and our offspring the coolness of our eyes and make us leaders for those who guard against evil.” (The Holy Quran, 25:74)
The words “coolness of our eyes” reminds me of a beautiful parable of Prophet Jesus (peace be on him), mentioned in the Gospel of Matthew. It says:
“The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness.” (Matthew, 6:22–23)
We have all gathered here this fine evening to celebrate the happy union of Romana Abdullah and Taarkan Akdam. It is a unique family get-together. Romana’s uncles and aunts from Pakistan, Wales and elsewhere and also nephews and nieces have come all the way to participate in the rejoicings.
But, brothers and sisters, we will miss today a very noble soul, Romana’s father, the late Dr. Farooq Abdullah. He was a highly qualified person, a popular teacher, an affectionate father, a caring husband, a sincere friend and above all a very fine gentleman. We were almost neighbours to the Abdullah family in Lahore and often played together and enjoyed picnics. Right from his childhood Brother Farooq was considerate and friendly. May Allah shower His choicest blessings on the departed soul. Amen.
Marriage is a most fascinating partnership but with no strings of obligations and formalities. It is simply a labour of love. Love does not mean just hugs and kisses and the exchange of good gifts. These are just symbolic gestures. It has to grow. It has to be nurtured with a deep sense of commitment and sincerity, a high sense of responsibility, selfless sacrifice, and, above all, courage to forgive and appreciate each other.
In the end, I would like to wish the couple a very happy and joyous married life. May Allah be with them always, and may He grant them protection against all evils and evil inclinations and keep them in continued health and happiness. And, finally, I bless the couple in the words of the Holy Prophet of Islam:
“May Allah shower His blessings on you and may He bless you and unite you two in goodness.”