Growing up in Modern Britain
Talk delivered at the Family Day at the AAIIL U.K. Centre, Darus Salaam, London, on 6th August 2006
by Haider Zafar
The Light (UK), November 2006 Issue (pp. 5–7)
Note by the Editor: This talk was given at the Family Day gathering at our U.K. Centre, Darus Salaam, London, on Sunday 6th August 2006 in the presence of Hazrat Ameer Prof. Dr. Abdul Karim Saeed.
Today I will briefly talk about growing up in modern Britain, not just in religious terms but as an individual human being as well.
Growing up at times can be scary as well as difficult. But what can safely be said is that growing up for every child is an inevitable process.
Growing up is not specifically about becoming taller or growing in age, but it is about the understanding one obtains with age and experience. It cannot be physically forced upon; but certainly talking about it can help considerably. Our elders can influence and encourage the young by making them aware of the realities of life rather than disguising or shelving them. These days I feel that children are becoming extremely smart and advanced, but it is because we are in an ever-growing age of advancement. And that is why children at an early age are acquainted with means and instruments which provide them with tremendous knowledge and awareness.
The term ‘growing up’ is not used just for children. It is something we all are going through. Generally, people older than us appear wiser but that’s due to experiences they have already been through and they will continue to gain more experiences over the time. As a child or a teenager, many natural changes, physical and mental, take place constantly. Parents have also been through the same phase but are now facing other challenges that are likely to affect the younger generation in a similar or somewhat different way.
I believe that all parents wish for their children to prosper and not face certain obstacles they themselves faced at a particular stage in life. If a child can realise the natural concerns of his parents, I am sure he will correctly understand his parent’s concern and may be by heeding to their advice, be able to lead a more successful life. Or at least this concern or suggestive nature of the parents will not be a source of any friction in their relationship.
The process of decision-making is a very critical stage in one’s life. A challenge to one person may differ from that of another. What needs to be reiterated here is that an individual should watch and follow their forefathers’ successes but also keep in mind their failures and take them into consideration whilst making decisions for themselves.
I feel that in order to follow a correct decision-making process one needs to know the method of arriving at a decision, taking into consideration all possible information and guidance available. If we cultivate the art of evaluating available information and opportunities then there is every likelihood that we can make a right decision. But it is also possible that in spite of following the correct method the decision can be wrong. But it does not mean that we should not undertake the thought-process while making a decision. The method is correct but maybe the information and possibilities taken into consideration were not correct and resulted in a wrong decision.
The fact remains that everyone has to make decisions in life. And if in spite of all precautions a wrong decision is made, then try to rectify it. It is always the best course in view of the given situation and it is definitely wrong to blame others. If there are people willing to help and guide you, then give due consideration to their advice and suggestions. Certainly, their presence is a blessing and do not disregard them, even though you may not agree with them.
Moving on, I would like to discuss the importance of prayer, patience and persistence in one’s onward struggle in life. I have tried to observe them during my studies and even now at my job and have derived inspiration and strength from them.
Prayer is one of the most important pillars of Islam. It needs to be understood by the person offering it. It is necessary to learn the Arabic text but one should learn the translation as well in one’s own language. For example, in English for many of us. By understanding the meaning, we know exactly what is being recited and aren’t praying like robots. That is how we can understand why and what we are praying for. This is part of an education we seek through teachers, our parents and even ourselves.
In fact, education is an on-going process. From an early age we begin education, be it academic or social. Our early form of education provides the basis for a sound growing up. We start first at school, meet friends, teachers and begin interacting with others while learning basics. From here we move on to secondary school, exams and then college, university, etc. These all play major roles. Many of us have high expectations and if things don’t go according to plan, it seems like the end, when in reality it is not even the start. If a person has failed and gives up, that should not be the way of reacting to it. But if they don’t give up, they won’t fail. It sounds great in theory but in reality it is much more difficult and needs courage and commitment. Again, options for us can become restricted, so we have to make it work with whatever means we have and whatever opportunities are available.
Success in most of the cases lies ahead, provided a person doesn’t lose hope and faith. If it’s not alright, then it’s not the end. It’s a tough part of growing up: academics, exams, learning, education, high expectations — they can really pressurise individuals. We should learn how to remain composed in failures and successes and try not to be too disheartened. Everyone is different and unique. If all of us were equally smart, it would become quite boring and even against the laws of nature.
Having said that, the world might become very intelligent but to eradicate ignorance, racism and above all war, needs guidance and sound moral development. And it cannot be better than the guidance of the Creator. He has revealed the Holy Quran as the final guidance for mankind.
Along with learning and developing as a child, here in Britain we may face a form of discrimination and possible racial abuse can confront us. We are still in a minority against the majority but we need to stick to our ground. This does not mean to imitate what they do but to try and surpass their ignorance, bad habits and attitudes.
If the majority of people of this country actually understand what being a Muslim is all about, then they’d probably say:
“Oh right, that’s not what we heard”.
This can actually work both ways, whilst we learn our own faith it may be worth considering learning about other religious faiths and their followers too.
Finally, I feel the need to state that we should constantly try to better ourselves and free our minds to enlightenment of little things of life. Over the past several decades materialistic vision has engrossed our minds. Is that what we’re really here for? Does material happiness now, really means perfect happiness in the latter life? I am not sure of what the future holds for any of us but can say that it will come to a certain end and with the passage of every moment we are nearing our grave.
So why not try to think and act as positively as we can by helping and effectively communicating with each other constantly. This will in return help us grow to understand each other as well as ourselves and even the world we live in.
Growing up is a natural process all human beings face on the journey to a higher plane. We never stop growing up; there isn’t a definitive end to it. It continues and perhaps so even in the afterlife. So, if we as individuals work towards a just, peaceful and righteous goal by doing our share of good, then inshallah a positive outcome and reward awaits our fate.